Multi-Review Madness

I'll freely admit I'm borrowing the concept of one-sentence reviews, but it's about the only way I have any hope of writing anything down for now.

+ Pokemon Diamond (NDS)
So much fun I actually forget how much of a fruitcake I am for playing this at the age of 31.

+ Chu-Chu Rocket (GBA)
A perfect solution for those that like to shoot mice into space on the go.

+ Mass Effect (Xbox 360)
The best story-driven elevator simulator with implied lesbian sex that I've ever played.

+ Project Gotham 4 (Xbox 360)
The addition of Gran Turismo handling means I can finally play an entry in this wonderful franchise and not suck.

- Sprung (NDS)
A dating sim that further proves there's absolutely no moderately entertaining foreign concept that Americans can't fuck up.

- Myst (NDS)
I'm still trying to figure out why someone would port a 15 year old game no one cares about anymore to a system actually capable of matching the original control scheme and screw up said controls beyond any hope of playability.

- Dark Messiah of Might and Magic Elements (Xbox 360)
About the only fun to be had here is kicking people off of a cliff until the game locks up for the 30th time.

- Resistance: Fall of Man (PS3)
When otherwise competent players can't get more than a few feet without being gunned down I start to think they named the game literally.

- Patapon (PSP)
I would ask "Why god, why?" but I'm terrified of getting an answer.