Bioshock (Xbox 360)

Some of these posts are going to be a bit different. When a game gets to a certain level of quality there is no end to the information available, and I hate rehashing things you've probably heard a thousand times already. Bioshock? It's fantastic. The complexity of combat, the gorgeous visuals, the involved story, all of these things (and more) add up to an experience that simply cannot be missed. While I think numeric ratings are bullshit in general, it's still worth noting that Game Rankings has Bioshock in its top ten list - the first new game on the list in a few years or more.

I'm not going to rehash the plot and it's total awesomeness, I'm not going to talk about how Ken Levine managed to create yet another fantastic title, and I'm not going to talk about how mature the various in-game choices are. All of those things are true, but again - I can easily guess that you've heard it all before. No, I'm going to talk about a couple of negatives surrounding this title. I'm going to talk about the sometimes surprisingly irrational AI. I'm going to talk about how the lack of a simple mini-map nearly drove me insane. I'm going to talk about the typical copy protection issues the computer version suffers from and the mind boggling solution 2K Boston came up with.

I don't want you to think the AI is actually bad - it's not. It's fairly competent in seeking cover and certainly a challenge at higher levels. Opponents will seek out the same health stations you can use to heal themselves. They will press you into corners and try to overwhelm you with numbers. My nitpick is that yet again we've got a game where you opponents have absolute lock-on no matter where you are. Trigger an attack and it won't matter where you are or how you try and hide, that enemy and every other enemy in the area always know exactly where you are. At this point consoles are so powerful and the game engines so detailed that I kind of expect more lifelike behavior, and it can be very jarring when it's not there.

Uh...the lack of a mini-map nearly drove me insane. I guess that's really all I can say about that.

Copy protection is of course a waste of time. You know that, I know that, and most developers know that - but it's not their decision. The suits in publishing insist on it, so for now we're stuck dealing with the problems it causes. I can remember off-hand at least five major screw-ups in the last year or two thanks to heavy-handed protection methods not even including Bioshock. What's different here is the solution. The earlier screw-ups usually resulted in either patches that reduced the frequency of protection checks or in some cases a direct-from-the-programmers "crack" that removed CD checking altogether.

2K's decisions on copy protection and solution for the resulting problems...I can barely repeat it without my jaw still dropping. First of all, even in their initial perfect world you could only install the game on two machines. That is astonishing to me, but at the same time I suppose it's not TOO big of an issue for most people as they tend to only have one computer in the first place. Once the game was installed however, you could only reinstall it THREE TIMES. That. Is. Insane. How dare anyone tell me how many times I can reinstall software on MY hardware. People ask me why I game almost purely on consoles at this point. Ladies and gentlemen, that's a damn good reason. I actually regret buying the game new at this point. Buying used would have still given me the opportunity to play while ensuring 2K didn't actually see my money. Yes, I know this is a rather hollow boycott, but at the same time I would argue it works just as well as not buying the game at all. It certainly is the same on 2K's balance sheet.

Deep breaths, deep breaths...alright I'm calm again. Well, the snafu wasn't actually the protection itself; apparently it wasn't even working right as-is. People were being told they were out of reinstalls on the very first install on their first machine, rendering the game completely useless. Woo! Totally awesome. 2K recognized the issue and put out a patch to "correct" the problem. Their solution? You may now install it on up to five machines up to five times. Nnnng, my head hurts now. Fantastic work guys, thanks for fixing that right up. It makes me want to quote Jon Lovitz:

Me: How did you fix the game?

2K: Patching!

Me: Genius!

2K: Thank you.

(Addendum: I don't play many PC games anymore or pay attention to news about them, so for all I know the limited reinstall protection might be old hat by now and I'm just behind the curve - I do that a lot.

Addendum to the addendum: I've spoken with some hardcore computer gamers, this is something entirely new and they're just as flabbergasted as I am at the sheer balls of it.)